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Talk:Smells Like Teen Spirit/@comment-3575890-20141012203651
Yet another "date" that ended in total awkwardness. Why do men never pay attention to my social queues and body language? So the other day, I went out for drinks with some colleagues and I ran into an old classmate from elementary school. I should have known he was interested, because he kept commenting on how beautiful he thought I was and how much more "pretty I've become" (so I was hideous before? Lol). Anyways, he told me he had a girlfriend and I took that to mean he just wanted friendship, so when we exchanged numbers I thought nothing of it. Well, he called me up asking me to have lunch with him the next day and I thought it was strange, since it did sound like a date, but I agreed anyway because we did go to school together for like, eight years and I figured he just wanted to catch up. I'm an idiot when it comes to men. Always have been. I can never read the signs or social queues unless they flat out tell me they want me. (that same night I also learned my colleague is crushing on me since he flat out told me so while drunk, and I had NO CLUE before that, but that's for another story lol) Anyways, he took me out to lunch and then suggested we watch a movie together, which I was reluctant about. I thought it was beginning to sound more and more like a date, so I mentioned his girlfriend and he told me they weren't exclusive. (some thing he failed to mention the night before) I should have known then that he wanted to hook up, but I didn't want us to leave things on awkward terms. The whole while I had been unsure of his intentions thus was really nervous and I'm sure it showed in some of the things I said and did, and I simply didn't want us to part ways without breaking the ice first so I went back to his place. At first, we just watched the movie and I could feel myself beginning to relax, but then he pulled me to him in this strong vice grip of a cuddle. It didn't allow me much room to move on my own he was holding onto me so tightly, but I allowed it because I always cuddle with my friends and in particular a male friend of mine whom has never taken it to mean anything but friendship, so I thought nothing of it and this sort of led to us spooning on the couch when he made up some thing about his hand hurting and us needing to change positions, which I could tell was getting into sensual territory, but I still let it go on because...I don't even know honestly. It just felt nice to be held in that moment and I won't lie. I was attracted to him. He's good looking and totally ripped and his arms felt nice around me so while I was thinking this was getting inappropriate, I just...let it go on. But then he started lightly trailing his hands up my sides and I was really beginning to tense up, but I still didn't do anything because I'm stupid and was nervous and idk...I just froze. When he turned me on my side so that I was facing him and made a move to kiss me, I instantly reacted by turning my head away and after I could see he was disappointed and upset. He was a gentleman enough about it. He apologized for crossing a boundary, but he also asked me to keep it between us so I'm guessing he's not used to women telling him no and didn't want his manly reputation tarnished. It was so awkward after that. I was more flustered than ever in addition to feeling embarrassed and even kind of ashamed. I clarified to him that I never intended to hook up with him, that I am not the kind of girl that has sex with men I barely know, and that I was sorry if I sent him any mixed signals and he took that well enough. I also reminded him of his suddenly non-exclusive girlfriend and told him I had no interest in being the other woman whether they're exclusive or not. We talked about it for a bit and I asked him if he expected to hook up with me when he invited me out, which he insisted he didn't, but in hindsight I don't think I believe that now, though I did at the time because I'm so stupid like that. Well anyways, he wasted no time driving me home after that. I know now I'll never see him again and that he just wanted sex. I don't know why I continually get into situations like this with men. I have been on the receiving end of them thinking they can kiss me, grope me, try to undress me, or initiate sex with me when I don't want them to so many times and this was just yet another instance that has reinforced in my mind that men will only ever want me for one thing.